We scroll in persistent rhythm looking for something to grab our attention immediately.
There are funny vids, beautiful sentiments, people on photographic display and mucho birthday greetings. But on occassion our panorama wheel stops spinning. We are struck by an impactful quotation. A few words, maybe a couple of sentences, offering a synopsis summary of life we experience or the world we view. It seems to makes sense of the struggle so we repost the wisdom.
Let's break one down to see the condescension that sometimes hides behind a seemingly innocent meme. It just takes slowing down a little to see there might be more behind the words.
This one popped up on my feed and immediately I wanted to rewrite it, throw shade on its veiled tone...
"When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to show our calm, not to join their chaos"
The adage sounds right, right? It evokes our empathetic wish to be better for others. We nod to it's sentiment. We feel better in the sharing.
This quote may be a snippet of a larger piece of writing so that in itself veils the context. The fact that it gets shared will accelerate the "entitlement" vibe pervasive in social media feeds.
Those sending are not even aware that it's not saying what they probably think it's saying. Hence, going to the author may alleviate the confusion, the one who wrote it... l.R. Knost. But that's probably not going to happen by the scrolling masses.
I guess one might start with the adjective "little" to describe the people who need our calm. Is it children? I don't think so because the we are not to join their chaos. Kids can be hyperactive but I don't think they have their own chaos.
So, right from the get go, we sense that this is for the little people. We are different than these little folk who get needlessly overwhelmed. We are an antidote to their behaviour - a true conduit of help, a tier above them. Why else would they be little?
So our help will be offered by showing our calm. Isn't that nice? There s no empathy required, just contrast by example. Don't share that you have experienced similar chaos along your journey because that would be the action of an ally. Instead here, it suggests to demonstrate another big emotion called calm.
Have you ever thought that calm could actually overwhelm someone if imposed? Those who have high energy and impulsiveness need to experience calm in doses to adjust to this elusive feeling.
I think the other word that stands out here, besides "little", is the three letter word job.
So it's a non emotion task and obligation. A must do...which just emphasizes the superior position we often take when helping others. We should and so we do.
Now that I've assaulted this meme, I offer an alternative.
How about this:
When people like us are overwhelmed by any emotion that feels to big to experience or manage on their own, our similar experiences can be shared, to soften the chaos they know.
The take-away in this writing is not that I am saying it better but suggesting that memes are read at a high speed glance, shared too quickly because we see them as wisdom to take hold of.
Chaos is the new norm and supporting others should not start with marking our differential positioning in a dialogue or exchange.
Connection is the humanity we share, in both calm and chaos.
Comments